About me

Almost ten years ago at the tender age of 18 I met what was soon to be my life partner. Almost from day one we were inseperable, the kind of friendship that was easy. We never ran out of things to talk about or laugh about. Our life together began as though we were destined to spend it with eachother. Within a year of meeting we became a couple. I could tell you all about the years and years of marshmellow land and how wonderful our love was, but what I started this blog for was to offer and find support for our latest challenge. Bipolar disorder. About three years ago bipolar disorder took control of the roasting stick and burned our marshmellows. Now life has begun, we no longer have the option of taking eachother or our comfy little love filled lifes for granted.
My partner was diagnosed bipolar after a heartbreaking emotional breakdown. I could never describe how it feels to sit back helplessly as the one you love with every molicule of your being is in such pain and dispare. When all you want to do is pull that person into your arms kiss their forehead and make it all better, and you cant. It wont work. I was always aware that my partner was emotional. She held firm to her rights to feel her emotions and I never questioned that, secretly wishing I had the ability to be true to my emotions as well, but I was always taught not to rock the boat and emotions were a good way to get people sea sick.
There were a series of events that lead to my partners eventual diagnosis. Our bestfriend was killed in a car accident and my partner (with the knowledge we have now was mainc) went into saviour mode. Working hard at consoling all the grieving souls. Shortly after that she was laid off from a job she had been doing for 10 years throwing us into a world of financial uncertainty. After accepting a new job the hammer came down and all of a sudden she was an unconsolable mess on our living room sofa. Followed by a few months of what we now know is rapid cycling, that landed us in the local emergancy room. Ultimately leading us to a diagnosis and on the path to recovery. As I am sure you know the past few years have been filled with pain, suffering and heartache, but through it all (although bumps along the road) we are finding some peace within this emotional rollercoaster. Somehow we have managed to stick by eachother through the hard times.
I wanted to start this blog as an outlet for myself and others who are suffering along with a loved one in this illness, because as much as our loved ones are suffering so are we. We often get forgotten and lost in the dust cloud stirred up by this illness. I have found in my search very little to no resources for partners of bipolar people and just as a bipolar person needs support so do we. The majority of sites I have come across tell me little more than to run for the hills (an option I am not interested in) All I am looking for is people who are in the same boat and who can relate with the path life has led me down. People who understand what it is like to be in love with someone suffering with this illness. People who are willing to share their experiences and are learing along with their partners how to effectivly manage this disease.