Saturday, May 3, 2008

So Frusterating

Over six years ago my partner and I desided to move into a nice two bedroom appartment on the main floor of a beautiful building with my father. Suddenly after 6 years living here the management company that runs the building has desided it is high time they cause us some unnecessary greif.


Two weeks ago we recieved a notice in the mail that they have reason to believe that we have additional tenants residing within our unit not named on the lease and that we could expect to have a unit inspection within the next ten days. For me this is mearly a pain in the ass. I know we have nothing to hide, we have had the same three people living in our unit since our move in date. We rairly have guests in our home, and in the six years we have lived here have had only two overnight guests and both stayed for less than 3 consecutive days. So bring on your inspection. For my partner this is a catasrophy. She feels like she is under a microscope. She has been struggling with this since the day we recieved the notice. Why are they doing this to us? Why her? What did she do to deserve this? Who would want us out of here? We live on the main floor so we often keep our drapes closed for privacy, we dont bother other people in the building.

D-day has come and gone, the inspection was well... lets just say interesting. My partners fears and parinoia are at an all time high with this situation. The manager came in with two ladies to look around, on their way out the manager says to me," I know you have a colored lady living here". First, 1961 called they want their racism back! and Second, He knows nothing apparently because not only is there not a "colored" lady living here but there are no additional ladies or men living here at all! He then went on to say this lady is entering our unit nightly and sleeping here. The whole accusation is so absord I can't help but laugh! My partner on the other hand is spending all of her time worrying about this situation. She typed up a visitors log for anyone who enters out appartment to sign, including their name, race, the date, time in, time out and signature. We also put together a document for our neighbours to sign stating that they have not been witness to any additional people coming into or leaving our unit with a consistancy that would suggest residancy.
This morning my partner was walking our dog and the superintendant took the liberty of standing by our appartment door and staring at her. This was just one more trigger to add to the already tedious pile of triggers over the past few weeks. She feels intimidated, like she needs to prove everything that is being done. She is making a big deal, speaking loudly in the hallways to bid our guests adue at the end of their visits.

As far as i am concerned if they don't believe us they can do one of a few things they can park a lawn chair outside our door and sit there for the next few weeks months or however long it takes for them to reolize there are just the three of us here. or they can turn the security cameras to face our door and capture the three of us as we come and go from our unit. I will not be intimidated our of my home by some arrogant prick who thinks he is something special because he is the superintenant. We pay more than any other residants of this building for our appartment it doesnt even make good busness sence to try to get rid of us. Beyond that I am not new here, I know my rights as a tenant and I also know we have not violated any of the terms and conditions of our lease.

However, home is supposed to be your sanctuary from the world, a place to kick up your feet and relax. This whole situation is just so frusterating.


















Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Cheri's Masterpiece!

I have been watching my new friend Cheri's art unfold before my eyes and am inspired by her creativity. Noting all of the emotions that lay quiet behind the scenes of each masterpiece. Every person who creates has the same thoughts, feelings and emotions it is dripped in each and every brush stroke, camera flicker and musical cord. It is interesting to have not only been witness to the art unfolding but also have the opportunity to experience the words that go with the painting. Words belonging to the artest. Words that are so familiar, similar emotions, insecurities, triumps that play in my head with each artistic quest I venture on.
All artests start with a vision, wether it be a vision created by nature, humans, interactions or emotions , as that vision comes together like pieces of a puzzle our emotions begin emerging. Wether it be tragity, love, annoyance, anger, frusteration or any other number of emotions it is all there quietly behind the brush strokes.

Take the picture at the top of my blog for instance. That photo came from a place deep inside of me. The whole series I took that day were all borne of the same emotion. All in black and white, all solitary images, something physical standing on its own. I was in a place in my life where I felt all alone. Solitary in my space. The feeling of being all alone in a room full of people, of being the only person on earth however surrounded.
This is one of the other pictures taken on the same beach on the same day. The interesting thing about art is people will see the same image, interperate the same song etc in all kinds of different ways depending on what their innermost emotions are for the day. When I look at these pictures I am flooded with that feeling of solidarity, emptiness all alone in the world. I am transported to a place within me that feels like no one else in the world feels like I do. But I have had others interperet these pictures as calm, quiet and contentment. I havent had the opportunity to go out with my camera in a while, perhaps because my life has been changing, or I just havent made the time, I lack the motivation at this moment. What I do know is when I pick the camera up and begin shooting the images you will all see will be a reflection of me. Perhaps this is why artests are always so critical of their work. It is like putting your soul on the canvis or on photo paper or to musical notes, you are there naked for everyone to see. You stand back and see all your many flaws and you are sure everyone else can see them too.

As Cheri says in her last post "there are so many changes I want to make.... it is out of my hands now..." What a metaphor for life... With every step taken, action and every word said we analize it. Pick it apart, disect it, Shoulda, woulda, coulda, its out of our hands now. To stand back at our lives our art, ourselves and be mindful that every person is going to interperit it as they see themselves. To know that when you are standing there naked for all the world to see, the eyes staring in your direction can only see themselves. And that is out of our hands.
Cheri, Thank you so much for sharing your art and emotion, for standing naked. For allowing me into your world of art and thus the world of Cheri. Your visions are amazing, I am proud of your accomplishment and your dedication to sharing that accomplishment with me.



Monday, April 28, 2008

Some of my favorite pictures

For those that don't know photography is one of my passions. It is one of the things that makes me escape the real world. I can loose myself in all of the beautiful sights this world has to offer. I see everything through a lens. Everything I see I am thinking how I could take a picture of it, what angle, what lighting, what kind of foreground or background would make it a great shot.
The following pictures are some of my favorites. I hope you like looking at them as much as I enjoyed taking them.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Elora Gorge

When my partner and I first started going camping together the Elora Gorge was our destination of choice.. Years ago the Elora Gorge was a quaint little camping spot with some great sites (If you know where to look) We were lucky enough to share a seasonal site with some friends who only wanted to use it for the first half of the season so the second half was all ours. It is a private site tucked in against the gorge featuring its own waterfall. In the spring the frogs mating calls are intoxicating. A cacophony of sound breaking the early season silence of the night. We had so many wonderful memories on this site. Private moments shared just the two of us as well as many wonderful times with our friends and family.

In the past few years Elora lost its battle against the building of a race track and the rising commercialism in the area has slowly taken away the charm of this little town. During the high season where there was the quiet wisper of wind through the tree tops and song birds high above singing down on our love, is replaced by the roar of car engines and a plethera of teenagers excited screams as they embark on their funfilled afternoon of tubing on the Grand. The privacy of our little gem of a site made public by a hiking trail that winds along the edge of the gorge and right through our site. The drive that once seperated our sanctuary from the road above made way to cyclists looking for a path.

My partner and I made a decision while relaxing infront of our roaring late April camp fire. We will make Elora our first camping trip of the season and our last. Avoiding the high season rush all while tricking us into believing the place we once called our summer getaway remains untouched by the "Man". A brand new tradition born. One time in April and again in October, when it is too cold for the average Joe to brave a night out in nature without a heated trailor you will find us, enjoying our quiet little oasis. If you find yourself there in April take a moment after the sun has set to turn your ears to the pond and allow yourself to be taken away on the sounds of the bull frogs creating the next seasons songsters. Likewise in October lay back eyes to the sky and be witness to the birds flocking by the thousands as they begin their travel south.

Last night was a wonderful evening filled with love. I had a feeling of being transported back in time if only fleeting, back to a time when Bipolar disorder had not shown its ugly face. Back when we were young and carefree, when the idea of difficult times seemed so unlikely, when we thought the world could never get us. Oh how nice it is to visit that place, mindful that we are not to stay in that place. The lessons we have learned along the way are priceless. This is for our journey through life, as the roads wind let us wind with them without hesitation. Always being mindful to let be what is, be.